Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Shallow Insecurities

This isn't much about Second time around (other than the loving hubby), but more about being a woman, esp one over 50....

Insecurities.... do we ever get over the ones we had as teens? Put yourself in this space, you are going out for an evening with 15 to 20 women who are all your age, most of whom you don't know or haven't even met before. You are standing in front of your closet, looking at the clothes hanging there, you choose an outfit, look in the mirror... OMG I look fat. Off it comes, throw it on the bed, choose another... look ... oh too frumpy, off it comes, onto the bed.... you go through this how many times before you settle on an outfit, your husband complements you on your choice, you are feeling great about your choice, you go to work and you receive compliments. Sigh... you made a good choice.

It's time to go to the event, you refresh your make-up and perfume, adjust your skirt, walk with confidence to the trendy wine bar. You are one of the first to arrive, as the rest of the ladies come up the stairs you silently observe what they are wearing and mentally compare your outfit to theirs, some are better others the same, some not so nice. You sit visiting, wondering if anyone has noticed how "Well" you put yourself together.... by the end of the evening the only comment that was made was about my earrings and my scarf. Am I being shallow or just insecure?

The topic of choosing clothes did come up, it seems like it is a common "problem". One lady talked about her husband and dog waiting in the car as she changed over and over again, leaving a HUGE pile of clothes on her bed that she was going to have to deal with when she gets home. We even identified why we did it, but did we have any form of resolution? NOPE, we all left with the same insecurities as we came with.

WHY should it be so important what I wore? WHY are we seldom content with how we look? WHY will be just as worried the next time? I know it's easy to say, just put on what you like, don't worry, just go and have a good time, but that is easier said than done.

Of course my wonderful husband quips about women's obsession with their looks, esp. their hair. He is honest and does warn me that certain outfits aren't  the most flattering, tells me what he likes and doesn't like, but doesn't really understand. You get the "Don't worry about what other people think" line... (Not that that helps.....because we do worry, because others do notice.

Well I'd better quit my rant on this for now and go do some work.

Lost in Love

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

What did I do to deserve this?

It's late at night and I've just come home from a great evening with FABULOUS ladies. Most of them are new friends in a group of 40+ ladies. It's great to be surrounded by the energy that comes with age.

I was thinking about being there, with the love and support of my Husband. In my former life, I would often say after a particularly bad  time of it "What did I do to deserve this?" the answer was NOTHING, but the screaming, ranting,raving, hitting etc. came anyway. Having friends was a crime. I am a survivor... I made it through that.

That same thought crossed my mind tonight as I was driving home. It was my husband who was the one that was encouraging me to go tonight, wanted to know how it went when I called, was asking "Did you make any new friends?"..... what did I do to deserve this? The answer is the same.... NOTHING. It comes with being in a loving, respectful relationship. I am truly blessed to have found the Love of My Life and live each day with him.

I want to blog about the ups and downs... give others hope that there can be a "Happily Ever After"in the Second Time Around. We do not have to be a statistic

Good night...
Lost in Love

Well let's give this a try....

Here I am, thinking about where I am in life, Lost in Love.... starting all over. This is the Second Time Around for me. I was one of those people who in another life got married right out of highschool for all the wrong reasons, to the wrong guy. I will probably vent over that at a later time, but right now it's about me and the man of my dreams, setting out on our journey to the rest of our lives......